Word Count: 0k
Summary: rowing up and getting past heartbreak are hard things to do. In the aftermath of Blaine’s infidelity, both boys struggle to work towards resolution — both with each other and individually.
Warnings: iscussion of mental illness, infidelity, and suicidal ideations
Pairing (s) urt/Blaine, tiny Kurt/Adam, mention of Blaine/Eli
Notes: he only othe FTB!Verse tory you might want to read prior to this i Rending, as it’s referred to in this one. This is a hard story, but please remember that I only do happy endings. There is another story to be told after this one. If you avoid spoilers, only read Ch 1 now and save Ch 2 until after Thursday. As incentive to get you to Ch 2, I promise there is quite the sexin’ in there
Beta(s): Cimms, Axe and Riah. Additional thanks for handholding and cheerleading to punk, stutter and gingerandfair. You are all amazing
Sometimes, Blaine does things he doesn’t understand.
When he does them, it always seems like the right thing. Most of the time it’s a decision made in a moment, and then it’s a tidal wave, the cresting of some impulse he can’t help but follow through on.
It’s the comedown that always hurts. The clarity after a moment that seemed like just the right choice — only it’s so startlingl not.
But it’s never hurt so much as those few seconds after Eli rolled out of bed. By the time Blaine has shrugged into his shirt, his whole body is shaking.
He can’t sleep that night — that’s not unexpected. Not when his skin crawls and the images of what he let himself do won’t leave him. He pictures Kurt, sweet in love. Ears pinked in cold. Heart split open with him, only with him, the most vulnerable bo jus for Blaine. And it’s all a mess because tied up with all of those images and memories (ones that hurt, a physical ache that curls his body while he chases sobs into his pillow so his parents won’t hear), are these new memories.
Eli had been different. Had touched him differently. Hadn’t known what Blaine liked. Still, touch was touch and when he’d been in that bed, Eli’s fingers had felt like water. Blaine knew he’d been withering without Kurt. Late into the night, in the lingering after, he realized it wasn’t touch he’d needed. Not that kind.
It was love.
Touch with Kur ha been love. It had been plenty of other things, but Blaine had never lied to Kurt when he’d said that any way they did it — fucking or rubbing sweet against each other, lips tattooing tender words into each other’s skin — it was always making love.
Sex with Eli wasn’t in any way love. And he’d not been expecting love, of course. But he had thought it might make him feel better. Human touch was something he starved for without Kurt. Bereft of it, he felt himself drying up.
It was Kurt’s touch that replenished and filled him up whole.
Fic: Entice Me, Ignite Me
Summary: Kurt and Blaine explore the boundaries of their new D/S dynamic with the introduction of a new sex toy
Word Count: k
Notes: This was supposed to be a drabble...so wow. I want to say this is not beta’d as of yet, so it might be full of errors. Thank you to djchika and controlofwhatido for encouraging me to write this story, and to countess7 for helping me along.( Read more...Collapse )
Summary: Blaine has no idea it would ever be a thing for him, but turns out that Kurt in thigh-high stockings is definitely a thing. Prequel to Helpless Gravity
AN: I blame this on Bentbacktulip who made a comment about wanting to write Kurt in thigh high stockings. I totally stole the idea from her. This happens to belong to the Fade To Black verse/headcanon that I have, but can TOTALLY be read stand alone. It takes place August right before Kurt goes to NY. It’s full of fluffy, smutty feels and contains NO ANGST. Love and thanks to countess7 for the spag and encouragement!
“Oh you have to be kidding me!” Kurt shakes out the tights he’s bought. “Fuck, I really don’t want to go back to the store, I got weird enough looks the first time.”
“What’s wrong?” Blaine rolls over to face him from where he’s been stretched out on Kurt’s bed.
“These are thigh highs. The package clearly says they they are tights!”
“Aren’t those the same thing?” Blaine sits up, gesturing for Kurt to hand the packaging over.
“No, stockings go all the way up, these are thigh highs.” Kurt repeats, giving Blaine an exasperated look.
“What are they for anyway?”
“Halloween Blaine.” Now Kurt’s gesturing with his hands, using a tone much like one would use on a small child.
“Wow um, isn’t it a little early? It’s only August.” Blaine is trying to focus on the conversation, he really is. Only it’s hard because Kurt is still holding the sheer black stockings, and wow he never thought that would be a thing for him, but he can’t get rid of the image they bring to mind. It’s so totally a thing for him because that’s a really, really hot image.
“It’s never too early to plan these things, Blaine.” Kurt skims his fingers down the length of the tights. The nerves just under Blaine’s too hot skin tingle; he swallows hard, wishing those fingers were slipping over him instead.
“Blaine.” Kurt snaps his fingers, a habit that usually irritates the hell out of him. It hardly registers. “Are you listening?”
“Sorry, I was distracted.” Blaine shakes his head, tries to pull his face into something like a normal smile. “You were saying?”
Kurt tips his head toward the folds of fabric on his desk. “I have to make my costume and yours honey. That takes time.”
“Oh.” Blaine figures Kurt needs something to focus on and distract himself with. It’s been a hard summer. He fiddles with the package still in his hands, wondering if he can ask for this. Intimacy has been touch and go, Kurt vacillating between moments of intense need juxtaposed with times when he’s hardly able to let Blaine touch him, to let him in.
Today Kurt’s been warmer; let his fingers linger against the palm of Blaine’s hand when they left the mall. His smile is wider, shoulders more relaxed. Blaine wonders just how warm Kurt would be, naked and wearing nothing but thigh highs, muscles lax, spread over his bed. Warmth spreads over Blaine’s cheeks. Kurt’s talking to him. Focus, he reminds himself.
“Your costume, yeah…” Blaine clears his throat, “Can’t you just wear those?”
Kurt turns toward the mirror, fingering the lace banding at the top of the stockings. “I don’t know if they’ll go with the costume I have in mind”
“You should try them on.” He aims for nonchalant, thinks maybe he’s tread a little too close to desperate. Kurt’s still looking in the mirror, doesn’t notice the way Blaine’s voice has edged higher, breathier. Blaine’s eyes can’t stop straying toward the two inch band of tantalizing lace. The flush of heat spreads — he imagines them smooth over Kurt’s strong calves and up his sweet thighs.
Blaine scoots over to the edge of the bed, rolling up to sit. His cock’s already half hard and he’s seriously considering how exactly to word what he wants; what Kurt might think. Kurt starts to shimmy carefully out of his pants; Blaine has to close his eyes briefly.
“Are you just going to sit and watch me?” Kurt shoots a playful look over his shoulder from where he’s bent, easing the tight denim over his calves.
“Yeah?” Blaine tries to smile. Why wouldn’t he watch his hot, sexy, beautiful boyfriend taking his pants off? Kurt’s skin is fine-stretched luminous over the defined curves of his legs; Blaine wants to run his fingers from Kurt’s ankles through the fine hair on his calves, all the way up his thighs where the hair thins to the smooth skin of his ass. He wants to slip his fingers under the elastic of his briefs. Maybe he’d bite the swell of Kurt’s ass, strong muscles flexing under his mouth and hands.
Yeah, no question, this is definitely a thing for him. He’s gone from half hard to fully erect in seconds.
“Alright.” Kurt turns, fingers slip quick, sliding his shirt over his head. “I guess I might as well give you a show.” His smile is bright, teasing. Kurt’s long past the days of uncertain self consciousness when undressed. This is Kurt realized, owning the ways Blaine loves him, knowing what turns his boyfriend on, enjoying his own body. His eyes don’t leave Blaine’s. “So-”
“The stockings!” Blaine blurts out.
“The stockings?” Kurt darts a glance toward the stockings he’s left over the bench of his vanity. Looks at Blaine as though he’s lost his mind
“Can you-” Blaine’s cheeks are on fire, hands trembling. His cock throbs once, hard up against the zipper of his jeans. Blaine swallows the worry that Kurt will think it’s strange. “Can you maybe…just put on-” He ducks his head, gesturing toward Kurt, too nervous to complete the request.
“Blaine.” Kurt takes the few steps between them. His fingers feel cold against the heat of Blaine’s cheek. “You know you can ask me. I love you. I want to hear what you want.”
“Okay.” Blaine looks up, turns his head to kiss Kurt’s fleeting fingers as they smooth away from his cheekbone. “Can you put them on? Without the rest of the costume?”
Kurt considers him for a moment. “Is that…does that turn you on?”
“I’m sorry, I know it upset you when Coach Sylvester kept trying to get you to wear a dress and-”
“Blaine,” Kurt interrupts, “That wasn’t the same thing. Besides.” His smile is small and teasing, “That wasn’t for you. I want to do things that turn you on. That turns me on.”
“Well,” Blaine’s stomach muscles tighten, “This definitely turns me on. Will you?”
“Yes.” Kurt bites his lip, looks down at Blaine with bright eyes. He moves to pick up the stockings, then turns to sit on Blaine’s lap, ass snugged in tight against Blaine’s cock. He bends to slip the first one on, laughing softly when Blaine groans, running his fingers down Kurt’s back, pressing in a bit harder when he gets to his sacrum, pushing down the waistband of Kurt’s underwear. He scratches there lightly; Kurt lets out a huff of breath, pausing to roll his hips harder into Blaine’s lap.
“Stop that,” Kurt chastises gently. Blaine chuckles, presses his fingers a bit harder. It’s a fail-safe way to drive Kurt crazy and turn him on. “I need to get these on without tearing them.”
“Okay.” Blaine grips Kurt’s hips, bends over to mouth at Kurt’s lower back. With his hands and mouth against Kurt’s skin, he can feel every breath Kurt takes, feel the way it speeds up.
“Alright.” Blaine can hear the thread of uncertainty in Kurt’s voice. He shifts to the side, sees the long stretch of Kurt’s leg covered in sheer black and groans. His fingers dig into Kurt’s hips.
“Oh god, Kurt.”
“Yeah?” Kurt’s voice is soft. He slides off of Blaine’s lap, turning to push him lightly back onto the bed. His smile is a little wicked when he climbs up, straddling Blaine, strong hands on Blaine’s shoulders to steady himself.
“This is…really hot. Is that weird?” Blaine can’t stop himself from running his hands up Kurt’s thighs, fingers lingering over the lace. Kurt is stunning, absolutely breathtaking. Blaine skims his hands further up, teasing under the elastic of Kurt’s briefs before sliding them over the fabric where Kurt’s so hard.
“No.” Kurt’s forehead comes to press against his. “Oh god, Blaine-” Kurt strains, rolling his hips, straining his cock toward Blaine’s fingers.
“Kurt can I-” Blaine curls his fingers under the waistband, “Can we take these off?”
Kurt smiles, eyes steady on his. “Yes.” He rolls off of Blaine, lays back against the bed and slips them off.
“Kurt, god, you’re so sexy.” Kurt’s thigh flexes under Blaine’s lips when he teases them, biting lightly at the lace holding the stocking up. He scratches his nails along Kurt’s calves. Kurt’s head is turned slightly to the side; he’s watching Blaine, eyes dark.
“While this is wonderful,” Kurt runs his fingers across Blaine’s head gently, “I’d enjoy some reciprocity. Clothes off.”
“Oh, yeah.” Blaine’s forgotten he’s still dressed, completely distracted by the image of Kurt. He’s stretched across his bed, skin glowing. He’s got one knee propped up, legs spread a little. He looks delicious and shameless. Blaine makes quick work of removing his clothes while Kurt rolls over to search for some lube in his bedside table. He works some slowly over his cock, smiling when Blaine bites his lips and groans.
“Kurt.” Blaine grabs under Kurt’s thighs, hitching him forward and forcing his knees up. “I love you so much.” He skims his hand up the length of Kurt’s cock, gathering lube before slicking it over his cock. There really isn’t enough, but he can’t be bothered to separate himself from Kurt anyway.
“I love you too.” Kurt leans up, slips his lips over Blaine’s gently. His clean hand curls around Blaine’s neck; breath gusting over Blaine’s cheek when Blaine lowers himself, trapping their dicks between them.
“Wrap your legs around me.” Blaine grits out, rolling against Kurt. When Kurt does, strong thighs circling his hips, Blaine can feel the scratch of lace against his hips. “Oh fuck.” He closes his eyes, but not before he sees Kurt’s triumphant smile. Kurt loves Blaine so undone he starts swearing. He tucks his head into the tender hollow of Kurt’s neck, chills and pleasure sparking through his whole body. Kurt fucks up against him for long minutes, hips undulating in smooth waves.
“Blaine, Blaine,” Kurt’s thighs squeeze tight. “I’m getting close.”
“Wait, hold on.” Blaine pulls back just as Kurt starts to shake.
“What are you-” Kurt’s hands grasp at his back, try to pull him back in. “No, no, come back.”
“I just, I want to see you.” Blaine ducks his head, bites Kurt’s plump lip, the licks over it softly. “Will you let me?”
“Oh, um, yes.” Kurt’s ribs expand against his, breathing long and slow to try to calm himself down. “How do you want me?”
Blaine blinks — it’s so much, sometimes, the way Kurt trusts him.
“Come here,” he rolls off of Kurt, tugs him up. “Can you stand at the edge of the bed? Facing away from me?”
Kurt’s fingers run featherlight over his forearm. “Your wish is my command.” His smile is impish, eyes amused. He slides off of the bed then leans forward. “I assume you want me like this?” He bends over further, legs spread, ass on display.
“Is it possible,” Blaine’s voice shakes; he kneels behind Kurt, bends to run his mouth over the sheer stockings, biting lightly every now and then as his lips travel up. His fingers curl around Kurt’s ankles. “To die from being so turned on?”
Kurt laughs lightly into the duvet where he’s braced his head, forearms folded above it. “I haven’t yet.” Blaine feels the tremors running through Kurt’s muscles, “But right now, I’m wondering the same thing. God Blaine, please-” his voice cuts off with a whine.
Blaine’s sucking a hard mark into his thigh just over the edge of the lace, fingers tracing around and over the band. He noses his way up to the crease where Kurt’s thigh ends and his sweet ass starts, then follows with his thumbs, spreading Kurt’s cheeks apart a bit while he stands awkwardly. His legs tingle as blood rushes back into them. He sucks hard, again, when he gets to the spot just above Kurt’s ass.
“More lube?” His voice is hoarse; he grinds against Kurt’s crack lightly. Kurt moans, pushing back, hand groping blindly for the lube. Blaine coats himself with more, teeth grinding as he shudders into the touch. “Can you…maybe-”
“Blaine,” Kurt turns his head to speak, “Just ask, please.”
“Here-” He runs his hand down the back of Kurt’s thigh, pulling one leg up to hitch it over the edge of the bed, holding it up with one hand under the back of his knee.
“Let me know, if it’s too much.” Blaine whispers. His thumb teases up the line of Kurt’s ass, pressing lightly against his hole; it’s a bit awkward, the angle, but he tries to make it work. Tries to convey that this touch is a question; this sort of touching is still new to them. Something they don’t do often.
“No, no, hng.” Kurt is panting, grinding back into Blaine’s touch, “Not too much.”
“Okay.” He grips Kurt’s thigh harder, lets his eyes stray over Kurt’s whole body, bent and offered and spread for him. “I want to try something.”
“Yes.” Kurt’s voice is so thready it’s almost lost against the sound of their breathing.
“I won’t — I promise not to-”
“I know, Blaine.” They’ve talked about this, how neither is really ready to try any sort of penetration yet. How they don’t want to rush when this aspect of their relationship is so new. They have years to explore new things. There’s so many incredible things they already do, together and to each other.
“Okay.” Blaine bends his knees a bit, trying to get a good angle; his free hand grips Kurt’s ass cheek hard enough to bruise, spreading it away a bit while he gets his lubed erection lined up against Kurt’s crack. He rolls his hips tentatively, groans at the same time as Kurt. It’s a little weird, trying to keep Kurt’s leg up and not slip away from where he’s rubbing hard against him. It feels incredible; he’s throbbing everywhere, his dick aching, pulsing against Kurt’s skin and the beautiful dark pink asterisk of his hole. Kurt is whimpering into the bedding, hips pressing back for more friction before rolling forward to rub his own cock against the mattress.
Blaine keeps moving, trying to gain a steady rhythm, then swears when his dick slides too low, catching against Kurt’s rim. He stops when Kurt cries out loudly.
“Oh, god sorry.” Blaine pulls away.
“No, Blaine, no,” Kurt’s hips push back, voice breaking, “Don’t stop, whatever you do, don’t stop.”
“Kurt.” Blaine closes his eyes, bites his lip hard and tries desperately not to come. He can’t hold Kurt up any longer; brings both hands to cup Kurt’s ass, gives it a good squeeze before taking himself in hand.
Kurt leans up a little further, curls his leg higher up over the mattress.
“Just let me…I won’t-”
“Oh fuck, Blaine, just — I can’t, please just do it.” Kurt turns his head again; his cheeks are a dark red, skin glowing with a fine sheen of sweat.
“Okay, yes.” Blaine takes the tip of his cock, slick with precome and lube, and rubs it against Kurt’s hole, watches it contract when Kurt cries out. His thumb digs in a bit harder, spreading Kurt as much as he can with one hand. He circles Kurt’s rim with the head of his cock. He’s grunting and starting to sweat and he doesn’t care at all because it feels so good. Kurt’s hands scrabble, clutching the bedding, hips rolling, rubbing himself against the mattress.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” Kurt chants, crying out when Blaine presses the head of his cock just a bit harder against him. Kurt’s low moans are building, breaking louder and louder while he starts to shake and come apart. Blaine watches, dumb-struck; Kurt’s body curls with the force of his orgasm, his sweet asshole contracting. It pushes him over the edge, the way he can so clearly see himself, one day, fingers or cock or even tongue buried deep inside Kurt’s body. He’s done for, comes all over Kurt’s ass in stripes. His dick slips through the white slick of his come, spreading it against Kurt’s skin, over his rim.
“Oh fuck, Kurt.” He manages, letting his dick slide out of his fist, feeling lingering after-shocks of orgasm twitch through his body. He slumps gracelessly to the floor; Kurt’s breathing hard above him, body still propped up over the mattress. Blaine presses a too-hot cheek against the lace of Kurt’s stocking, feels his heart beating hard in his chest.
Kurt slips away from him for a moment; Blaine’s eyes are closed, he feels Kurt slide down;, coiling his long body against Blaine’s. Kurt’s lips skirt his eyelids and nose and cheek.
“I think we skipped a part.” Kurt manages, voice fucked out and low.
“Hmmm?” Blaine opens his eyes slowly. Kurt’s breath is warm over his face when he puts his lips on Blaine’s, tilts his head, pushing his lips open roughly. Blaine lets him, body swaying back, mouth open and willing against Kurt’s hot tongue.
“We didn’t skip that part.” Blaine manages. “I totally kissed you when we were on the bed.”
Kurt laughs, traces fingers over the tendon of Blaine’s neck. “But not enough.” He kisses Blaine one more time, soft-quick and so tender “No such thing as enough.”
Blaine untangles himself, pulls Kurt up and toward the bathroom and props him up against the counter, then wets a washcloth. Kurt’s eyes track Blaine’s movements while Blaine cleans him, the cloth wiping away the come smeared against Kurt’s stomach and cock. He loves Kurt like this; sex pliant and trusting, soft cock tender against the drop of his balls, legs open and eyes on him.
“Turn around.” Blaine guides him, presses an open palm between Kurt’s shoulder blades. Kurt bends over slightly, spreading his legs so that Blaine can clean him there too.
“That was,” Blaine pauses, wipes what’s left of his come from Kurt’s body with a small pang of regret. Sometimes he wants to leave it, to spread and smear it over Kurt’s skin. He searches for the right words. His brain is sex-muzzy. “That was new.”
“Mmm.” Kurt sounds sleepy; a glance at the mirror confirms this. Kurt’s eyes are slipping closed; his hair is wild, falling over his forehead and sticking up in tufts in other places.
“Was it- ” Blaine starts, stopping when Kurt turns, loose arms circling him.
“Blaine.” Kurt’s lips on his are familiar, comforting and soft. “Can we talk about this later, maybe?” He pulls back to search Blaine’s eyes, his own hooded blue. “Are you okay with what happened?”
“So okay.” Blaine wraps his fingers around Kurt’s waist.
“Then lets go back to bed and cuddle.”
“Yes.” Blaine smiles, then ducks his head, feeling his face flush a little, again. “Only, can you maybe keep them on?”
“These?” Kurt slips his leg around Blaine’s, hooking his ankle around Blaine’s calf. He nods. “Like I said,” Kurt’s fingers toy with the hair at the back of Blaine’s head, “Your wish is my command.
Beautiful banner made for me by the rockin’ awesome djchicka. Thank you so much!
Title: Helpless Gravity
Rating : NC-17
Word Count: ~3300
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are exploring the new terrain of intimacy after getting back together. This is just one of the ways. (AKA the one where we revisit Blaine’s reaction to the stockings).
“Kurt did you— oh holy shit.”
Blaine stumbles while rounding the screen marking Kurt’s room. In front of him, Kurt is lithe against the exposed brick, one arm propped over his head, one hand tucked behind his back. The cracked lights of Bushwick seem to glitter through the window beside him. His eyes meet Blaine’s; hand trailing slow down the wall, skimming sweet against the side of his neck.
“Bla-aine.” Kurt tilts his head, eyes down, all coquet and and allure. “Did you just swear again?”
Blaine swallows — Kurt’s fingers trace the bridged curve of the black garter belt before clasping the one behind his back, hips jutting forward. Glow from the single lamp shivers up the boning of the corset, breaking into fragments of light that bounce over the ruffle at the top and bottom.
“I just- I mean-” Blaine closes his eyes, then opens them. Tries to remember how to breathe.
“Hmmm.” Kurt flicks his eyes up, chin still angled down. It’s sin, the way his lashes frame those wide eyes. It’s a put on innocence that’s so fucking hot, juxtaposed with the black boning and satin he’s wound himself up in.
Holy mother of god, is that eyeliner?
“Okay.” Blaine breathes, closes his eyes again. “I’m going to, um. Open my eyes.”
“I should hope so,” Kurt all but purrs; Blaine’s opened his eyes in time to see Kurt tilt his head back against the wall, one full lip caught between his teeth. His stocking covered toes run up one calf.
“Kurt.” Blaine takes a half step into the room, stops to wipe his palms against the scratch of denim over his own thighs.
“Blaine, honey.” Kurt shifts against the wall, “Are you going to come over here any time soon?”
“Sorry, yes.” Blaine makes his feet move, somehow almost reluctant. God, Kurt is delectable like this, every long span of muscle highlighted, the tops of his thighs radiant where they peek between the tops of his stockings and the lace triangles of garter. Blaine wants to bite first, kiss later. “I just, I kind of want to take a picture of this.”
Kurt’s eyes widen a little.
“I mean, I won’t.” Blaine assures him; he’s right flush with Kurt’s body now. There’s only a thin layer of air between them; some whimsy strikes Blaine that maybe the heat of their bodies might burn it clear off until there’s nothing, nothing, nothing between them at all. “I don’t even have a camera or anything, and I mean we’ve never even talked abo-”
“Blaine.” Kurt leans away from the wall, lips tingling close to Blaine’s. “Shut up.” He ghosts his lips toward Blaine’s ear, “And touch me.”
Blaine turns with a small groan just as Kurt does; their noses bump a bit but then it’s a moment forgotten. Under his lips Kurt’s mouth is warm and open and Blaine’s skin is on fire everywhere he’s pressing up against him.
“Touch me.” Kurt pulls away to whisper again, rolling his body in one slight movement all up Blaine’s.
“Kurt,” Blaine nips his lip, sucks another breath from Kurt with a kiss. “Kurt, Kurt.” He’s chanting, desperate kisses between murmurs.
“Blaine, touch me.” It’s less request now — it’s need and evocative demand and that’s when Blaine realizes he hasn’t even gotten his hands on Kurt.
“Yes.” And he does.
He touches light fingers down Kurt’s neck, shapes his collarbones with the palms of his hands. Marks the rounds of his naked shoulders. He’s careful when he traces the sweetheart edges topping the corset; tries not to skim too light. Kurt can be ticklish.
“So-” Kurt’s breathes, slivers of uncertainty underpinning his words, gestures to his body, “Yes?”
“God Kurt,” Blaine spans his waist, slips of satin against his skin, squeezes and pulls Kurt flush against him. Bites just below his ear, “So beautiful.”
I didn’t think I’d get to see you like this. Not ever, not now.
“Good.” Kurt shivers when Blaine moves him away from the wall, hands a bit rough. He’d never forget that Kurt loves being manhandled a little, but in the last months he’s not let himself remember. Blaine turns, edges Kurt backwards toward the bed, and when Kurt’s hands run up his forearms, startling-warm, Blaine pauses.
“Is this-” Blaine freezes in his uncertainty, wonders not for the first time if they’ve lost some of that language learned in their bodies in the time they’d been apart.
“Blaine, just take me.” Kurt laces his hands behind Blaine’s neck, blue eyed and close, cheeks hectic flushed. “Take me anyway you want me.”
“Kurt,” Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt’s cinched middle. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” His hands slip, forefingers skating into the creases where leg meets groin; they wind under the edges of the gossamer thin panties. Kurt whines, drops his head onto Blaine’s shoulder, eyes closed.
“No,” Blaine twitches his shoulder, hand coming up to cup Kurt’s jaw, angling it toward Kurt’s standing mirror. “Look at yourself.” Storm blue eyes meet his; the hints of khol smudge surrounding and highlighting them. “God your skin, I’ve never seen anything like it.” His lips leave a damp trail over Kurt’s shoulder.
“Blaine.” Kurt whispers, legs spreading just a bit.
“Your body, it’s perfect. Strong…resplendent.” His fingers find the inside of Kurt’s arm where he’s most sensitive, takes in the trembling of muscle. Behind him, the bed is pristine, made up perfectly. Put together just like Kurt and he wants to destroy it, destroy him until he’s crying and taken apart and nothing but his and Blaine will be cracked open too.
“Bend over the bed, chest on the mattress.” Blaine splays a strong hand, guiding Kurt down. Putting Kurt on display, the elastic between garters and stocking straining a little.
“You seem to like me this way,” Kurt hums, “You’re always bending me over things.”
“Well-” Bent like this, Kurt’s ass spills sweet, just a little, from the panties. Blaine digs his thumbs, grasping and spreading each cheek, stunned by what he sees, before grinding a little against him.
“Oh,” Kurt whispers.
Blaine feels it, the way the boning pushes a little into Kurt’s back, presses his hands on either side when he feels his way up.
“Blaine, please.” Kurt’s hips push back against him, then grind forward against the mattress. “Your clothes.”
“Oh yeah.” He’s distracted, watching Kurt start to unseam a little. The sway of his body when Kurt gets up on his forearms, eyes shamelessly watching Blaine shed his clothes quickly. Blaine catches sight of himself in the mirror; he can see just a bit of Kurt, but not all. Not Kurt from head to wantonly displayed ass, legs opened for Blaine’s hand where it’s worked between his legs, cupping his balls. Blaine hesitates, then pulls away. It’s hard, tearing himself away from the heat of Kurt’s body.
“Come here.” Blaine maneuvers Kurt up; pats the mattress where he wants him, right in front of his standing mirror. Kurt crawls, fucking crawls on all fours to comply. It’s possibly the most incredible and sexy thing he’s ever seen. Need tears through Blaine, hands tingling to grapple Kurt down onto the bed, to throw him down and fuck himself against Kurt until they are both spilling against each other.
“Face the mirror and spread your legs.” Kurt does, concupiscent , displaying himself in the mirror. Blaine drops to his knees between them, sucking kisses down the exposed gleam of thigh before softly biting his way down the length of the stockings. He manipulates Kurt’s leg a little, raising it into the air so he can work all the way down to ankle.
“You should see yourself too.” Kurt moans out. “I love you like this Blaine; your back and the way your muscles move. Your ass, god your ass…you’reincredible.” he ends the last in a whimper.
“Nope. Not about me right now.” Not wanting to take the time to undress Kurt, unwilling to change anything that Kurt’s presented him with, he tugs the panties to the side. “How attached to these are you?” Blaine noses the crease of his thigh before mouthing over Kurt’s trapped, straining cock.
“Not at all.” Kurt presses up toward Blaine’s lips, hips shifting. Blaine looks up to see Kurt’s eyes on him.
“Watch yourself in the mirror,” Blaine orders, gripping the flimsy fabric and tearing it with some effort. It’s maybe not as easy as porn might have led him to think, which makes the whole thing a little awkward, but it’s more than worth it. Once he’s managed, Blaine pushes the tattered fragments up, mouth desperately watering. “What do you look like, like this? Tell me what you see.” Kurt’s cock twitches against his lips which are kissing teasing light up his length. Blaine uses his hands to push Kurt’s thighs farther apart, movements rough.
“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice breathes thin, breaking into a moan when Blaine’s tongue and lips find the head of his dick. “I look…oh god I look like sex.”
“Yes.” Blaine licks his lips, tasting sticky bitter precome. “Put your feet on my shoulders.” He orders, then sinks down to suck as much of Kurt’s cock as he can.
“I don’t think I can sit like that,” Kurt moans loudly, falling back against the mattress with a muffled thwump. Blaine pulls up and off, then licks down gently.Takes his time laving gentle and teasing brushes over Kurt’s sac.
“Oh my god, oh god, Blaine don’t stop.” Kurt presses forward, feet straddling Blaine’s shoulders. It’s a position that makes his hips tilt, exposing everything shamelessly.
“No, I won’t.” Blaine’s fingers hurt where they grip the sensitive insides of Kurt’s thighs. “Can I?” He kisses down, then sucks the sweet smooth skin of Kurt’s perineum, hard.
Kurt pauses, thighs shaking; Blaine looks up to see the satin corset jump, Kurt’s stomach below clenching in spasms.
“Yes, if you want to.” Kurt’s face pinks deeper, voice uncertain.
“Oh my god, Kurt. I so want to.”
Kurt breathes in, one sudden deep breath, then spreads his knees a bit wider, planting his feet harder into Blaine’s shoulders. He exhales, then tilts his hips a bit more; groans when Blaine spreads his ass cheeks and kisses softly over his hole.
“Yeah?” He mumbles, lips just barely still on Kurt’s skin.
“Yeah.” Kurt whispers, desire rich in his voice.
Blaine takes his time; licks carefully over Kurt’s hole up to his balls, then back down. Kisses it tentatively, then harder when Kurt cries out. It’s heady, so different from sucking Kurt off. It’s redolent and deep, how intimate this is. He circles Kurt’s rim and it contracts under his tongue.
Kurt shifts around him, hips rolling in tight movements, voice is wrecked; he’s chanting and swearing softly. Blaine lets his thumbs dip closer, right up to the edge of Kurt’s sweet pink hole, rubbing through spit under his lips and probing tongue. He pushes a bit, stiffens his tongue and lets it press hard against Kurt.
When Blaine pulls back, his face is wet with spit, lips tingling; he rests his too hot cheek against Kurt’s thigh, closes his eyes and lets his fingers move by instinct, thumb moving over the fluttering asterisk.
“Kurt-” His voice is gravel broken, question hanging unfinished. This is new, all of this, uncharted. Things he never thought he’d get, unfinished firsts when he’d broken what they had.
“Please.” Kurt pleads.
So Blaine does, moves his mouth to wet his own thumb generously. He spreads moisture over Kurt’s hole before adding more pressure, shocked when Kurt’s body sucks him in, his sweet star opens easily, drawing him deeper. Kurt’s moan is startlingly loud.
“Oh my god, Kurt, you want it so bad don’t you?”
“Yes, oh fuckfuckfuck, Blaine I’m-,” Kurt cries out, spasming around Blaine’s thumb. It’s not in deep; Blaine isn’t sure of his footing, their footing in this new territory. He drags it out a small bit then presses in deeper. “Blaine, touch me, touch me please, I’m so close.” Kurt is writhing on the bed, muscles twitching, body roiling into his touch. Blaine kneels up, presses his thumb in a bit more, slowly drags it out, then sinks his mouth back over Kurt’s cock.
“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice lowers a fraction and then he’s coming deep into the recesses of Blaine’s mouth. He does his best to ride it out with Kurt, to take it all in. How hard Kurt’s body grips his thumb in pulses; how bittersweet Kurt tastes in his mouth and down his throat. Kurt’s gasps, high breaths drawn too quick through his orgasm.
Carefully, Blaine draws his thumb out, peppers small kisses over twitching thigh. Moves slowly, slides his hands under Kurt’s shoulder blades and maneuvers him farther up the bed. Kurt manages to rouse himself enough help, awkwardly settling by the pillows.
“Can you-” Kurt breathes out softly, eyes hazy. “I promise to take care of you, but can you take me out of this first?”
“Yes,” Blaine tries to ignore the throb, the sharp ache of being so frantically aroused. His hands shake, trying to undo the corset. When he’s finally managed, Kurt exhales, then takes a deep breath. There are indentations pressed into his skin. It’s sweaty and flushed; Blaine takes his time licking up the length of Kurt’s back, nipping and kissing, squeezing his own cock hard, holding off. He could come in an instant; rub himself against Kurt, or a few strokes of his hand, but he won’t. Blaine wants the most out of this night, this moment.
Instead, he grips Kurt’s hip and rolls him unceremoniously onto his back.
“You alright?” he asks; Kurt’s moved pliant and boneless at Blaine’s urging.
“Never better.” Kurt’s smile is satisfied-sleepy, but also a bit sly.
“You said I could take you the way I wanted?” Blaine hesitates.
“Any way,” Kurt responds immediately. “What can I do?”
“Lay back, relax and open your mouth.” Blaine drags his thumb over, catching Kurt’s damp swollen lip. He leans in, bites a little before plunging into a dark kiss; dirty and frantic while he climbs over Kurt, swinging a leg over and shuffling up. Kurt pulls away from the kiss, moves down a bit; Blaine thighs feel too hot and strained unter Kurt’s gripping hands.
“Do it,” Kurt encourages, voice low and evocative.
And so Blaine does. Legs aching from kneeling so long, knees past sore. It doesn’t matter though, not when he’s gripped his dick, smearing dripping precome all over Kurt’s red bitten lips. When he slips in, Kurt opens easily, tongue working the ridge at the head, lips closing over it in a sucking kiss that has Blaine’s breath drawing short, eyes fluttering shut.
He opens them with difficulty; wants to watch Kurt’s mouth take more and more of him in. Kurt’s hair is a delicious wreck, face sheen-sweaty and red. It’s only shallow thrusts and small circles of his hips, as careful as he can be. Kurt sucks him in, breathing out slowly, closing his eyes when Blaine lets go of his dick to bury shaking fingers in Kurt’s messy hair. He doesn’t pull or grip, just cradles the round shapes of his head.
“Kurt, just-” Kurt hums, sending electric shivers that wrack through Blaine’s body and he comes before he can stop himself, before he can warn Kurt. “Shitshitshit.” He rides it out helplessly.
Blaine’s body is still throbbing, pulsing with an orgasm that seems to slam through him, that won’t let him go. It goes and goes, fading like the ebbs of tide; leaving gently in waves. Blaine’s thumbs sweep over Kurt’s temples with as much tenderness as his spent body can manage.
He slides his half soft cock from Kurt’s mouth, slivers of sensitive aftershock curl through him.
“Here, come here.” Kurt’s hands guide his shoulders, help Blaine settle next to him and when he lays his sweating forehead on Kurt’s shoulder, they’re both breathing hard and fast.
“You okay?” Blaine manages; his palm is hot and damp where it covers Kurt’s rabbit quick heart beats. “I didn’t push you too far did I?”
“Mmmm,” Kurt works out, voice a little thready, “That was perfect. You are incredible.”
“No, honey.” It’s a whisper of a kiss, just the slightest movement, against Kurt’s skin. “That was all you.”
They might be too hot, skin sticking; it’s so close, like the cells of his skin are vibrating minutely with Kurt’s, telegraphing things like love and rebuilding trust and the language of soul mates. Their language, something that’s only ever going to be theirs now.
Drifting sleep settles over them for some time; he’s so loathe to move he ignores the way their cooling bodies have started to shift with discomfort. He sits with effort; takes in Kurt’s debauched body. His garter is slipping down, torn underwear revealing his sweet cock, soft nestled in the trim thatch of hair. Knees and legs akimbo, arms spend lax, Kurt should look awkward but manages only to look utterly fucked out. Completely his in the same way Kurt owns his body and heart.
“Want these off?” His fingers skate over the tops of the stockings.
“Please.” Kurt murmurs, sleep slipping into his voice.
Where he’s been covered, Kurt’s skin is even more damp, warm from exertion and radiant heat trapped under fabric. Blaine tries to be as gentle as he can; it feels like worship, eyes and fingers touching every part of Kurt he can with reverence.
“Oh that’s nice.” Kurt wiggles his toes, flexing and pointing them before stretching under Blaine’s hands spanning his waist. It’s incredible, the way Kurt’s body feels like a vessel; the way their bodies feel like something to be filled in these moments, intimacy pouring and completing them until they are saturated with love.
It’s not just that though, it’s the way their bodies are like binary stars he thinks; the way they rotate around and draw to one another. Nothing had felt right without Kurt — beyond the shame and worthlessness he’d felt like a second skin that stuck all over him like smothering glue — it was the pull to Kurt he’d felt missing most. The way he was meant to be Kurt’s, selves that orbiting together. For so long, he was sure that Kurt was his sun.
He’d learned in school about double stars. It was maybe not a perfect metaphor — he didn’t like to think about the way one star was larger, the smaller one it’s companion. But it worked in a way. Kurt wasn’t his sun anymore, wasn’t bigger than him, the center of everything Blaine knew. But they did belong to each other; to the helpless gravity that pulled them together.
Dark in the nights they’ve been working to reconnect and learn each other again, Kurt had whispered the same. His journey — Blaine’s too — to understand his identity as his own, growing into himself as an almost adult, but helpless to the pull, to the center of gravity that kept their souls together. What happened had been hard, and heartbreaking, but Blaine knew that it had been good for them. Necessary.
“I hadn’t forgotten about this, but didn’t think I’d see it.” Shy and unsure, Blaine crawls back up to rest his head on the pillow, laying the rest of the lace and stocking on the discarded corset.
“I’d set it aside for the right moment.” Kurt’s chin managed to tilt up again, voice back to it’s lofty sort of lilt.
“Every moment is the right moment with you.” His hand crossed the span between their bodies where they’d curled up facing each other, ran down Kurt’s arm.
“Oh god,” Kurt laughed, but still wound his fingers with Blaine’s between them. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Sorry.” Blaine shrugged. He wasn’t really sorry.
“No I like it.” Kurt admitted softly. “It’s you. That makes it a perfect moment with you too.”
Warnings : infidelity
AN: um. this hurt to write. no one looked it over but me. it might just be a mess but hey, my feelings are pretty messy right now.
someone prompted someone else to write break up sex. and this is what happens in my brain sometimes.
Once he stops crying, he’s numb.
And numb is good.
Time passes and he folds himself into the bed. Everything registers; cool sheets parting for his toes, the way the pillow gives under his half curled hand. Blaine, breaking and breathing next to him.
Numb is good. Without it, Kurt thinks, the first thing he’d feel is that — Blaine breaking. Or himself.
Maybe it’s the same thing.
No. Kurt’s eyes open in the dark where there’s nothing to see anyway. If it were the same thing, this wouldn’t have happened.
Numb, Kurt thinks.
His whole body feels like it’s somehow untethered, muscles and joints and cartilage separating and shifting and sinking into the bed. His shoulderblades press down against the mattress. He can feel his body, the cotton and cotton of clothes and bedding, but nothing else.
Until Blaine turns. It’s just his head, rolling to the side. Kurt doesn’t see it — he’s looking up at nothing where the ceiling, he supposes, still is. Although he’s not sure anymore. That’s not the saying is it? It’s the rug that’s supposed to have been taken.
But it’s doesn’t matter because Blaine turns and Kurt knows. He doesn’t see it or even feel it, he knows it. Knows because Blaine is so much a part of him he can’t not.
And then they come back, feelings like a swarm. They sting and prickle and fill him and he’s come back into his body with a gasp and it hurts.
“Kurt?” Blaine is whispering through tears. His voice has that small scratch, the hitch that breaks through when he’s crying. Kurt hates that he knows that.
“Don’t.” He turns too. He doesn’t mean too, but Blaine’s heart still feels like his axis; what else can he do? He’s still turning and turning around Blaine and until this night, that’s always felt like love. “Don’t speak.” His fingers are on Blaine’s lips; they’re parted and sweet damp from tears.
Blaine shakes his head, a minute movement that telegraphs through the pads of Kurt’s pain tingling fingers and then his own fingers are on Kurt’s lips, and Kurt’s whole body comes alive. Alive in pain and in pleasure-memory and in the longing he’s carried for his boy all these days they’ve been apart. It’s a song he can’t unsing, the way he wants Blaine. It’s out in the world and Kurt knows that he’ll never be able to get it back.
His fingertip catches, pulls Blaine’s lower lip as it drags down. It presses hard into his chin and neck and curls in when his hand comes around Blaine’s neck.
Palm flat against Blaine’s chest, he feels when Blaine breathes to speak and surges forward; lips and teeth hard up against the winged rise of Blaine’s beautiful collarbone. He bites. When Blaine gasps, he does too, breathing out in a murmur — shut up shut up shut up — his fingers too clumsy while they slip the large buttons of Blaine’s pajamas through the buttonholes.
Blaine wants to speak, Kurt knows. He can feel it in Blaine’s breath where his teeth scrape over his heart. Shut up, shut up, shut up; Kurt fold the words against the Blaine’s stomach and hips, up against his neck and behind his ear.
Kurt isn’t gentle. He pulls and pushes and strips Blaine until he’s nothing but skin and bones and so, so small in Kurt’s hands. He presses against him hard, letting his hip bones rub against Blaine’s, forehead hurting tight against his. It hurts, it all hurts; it rises in his heart which is hard beating and surges into his arms and legs. Blaine’s hands are under his shirt and Kurt lets him.
Blaine’s cheek is snug cupped between the crest of his cheekbone and the sweep of Kurt’s nose and it’s wet with tears. Kurt can feel his mouth whispering the words — shut up shut up shut up — because so long as he doesn’t have to hear Blaine speak he can hold on.
Blaine’s legs open (is this what you did), and his hands finger-dig into Kurt’s hips (did he hold you this way) and their bodies are hot and damp and not damp enough where they rub together (was he better) and when Blaine turns to kiss him, lips just catching the edge of his, Kurt can’t (why wasn’t I enough).
“Kurt.” Blaine breathes, imploring.
“No,” Kurt pulls away, fisted hang thumping weakly against Blaine’s shoulder. “No, no, no.” And it all crests and pulls and swamps at once; his tears and his orgasm and a pain in his chest so deep. Blaine under him is vibrating and pulsing and they are spilling so hot against each other and his lips draw to Blaine’s because they’re like magnets, the two of them, and he just can’t not do it.
Blaine’s lips give under his (but did he kiss you like I do), mouth salty and wet and home. Just like home. He’s crying, or Blaine is — tears are running down Blaine’s cheek and over his hands where they frame Blaine’s face. And he can’t tell. He can’t tell which parts are his and which are Blaine’s and which parts of his body belong to him anymore. Which parts of his heart belong to him. He doesn’t want to pull away; he doesn’t know how he can take any part of himself back because they’ve been given. So he kisses and kisses and kisses Blaine’s lips (is this the last time), and then pulls away.
Word Count: ~4300/~55k
Summary: The story of how Kurt and Blaine navigate their new relationship in the wake of previous unhealthy relationships. How they transition from friendship into intimacy- and in the end, deep and abiding love and a very happy beginning to their new lives. With a few bumps in the road, because really, life is messy sometimes.
BETA: I want to thank each of the amazing women who helped me beta this monster fic: wowbright , punkkitten2113, bashful1881, </lj> and as always, alianne
Warnings: AU! Swearing and angst. One references to past noncon (pm me if you need details).
AN: This is the fourth story in my OSU!Verse, and the direct sequel to Through The Hidden Door.
Oh my god, it's over. I cannot believe I've finally made it here! Thank you guys SO SO SO MUCH. I hope I did it justice in the end -- I know there were a few readers who felt like I didn't do Kurt justice, and for that I apologize. A lot of this story and this verse belong to Blaine. At least so far. I have more stories here to tell, but I don't know how long it will be. I love you guys, I loved the comments and the dedication and the support.
( Chapter SixteenCollapse )